BDSM & Kinky sex

Sexual impulse occurs due to trigger stimuli, which may be both internal and external. On one hand, biological predisposition is a facilitator of activation of sexual response to certain stimuli, although this is not always a linear process. On the other hand, there is considerable interference in the environment in short, learning. This means that we associate certain stimuli with pleasure, which causes desire and desire in turn leads us to trigger sexual impulse conduct. When behavior is reinforced (associated with pleasure) it tends to be repeated.

Maybe it’s differences in learning, maybe it’s genetic factors or a combination of both that makes some stimuli become erotic for some people and not for others, even what is erotic for some may be unpleasant for others. For this reason there are people who prefer the ‘vanilla sex’ (which we commonly know as conventional sex) and others prefer to practice other types of sexual activity which are included in the BDSM.

What is BDSM?

Apart from conventional or mainstream sexual practices there are many others that are practiced by all kinds of people, regardless of sexual orientation and gender. The term BDSM consists mainly of three acronyms: (BD) Bondage and Discipline, (DS) Domination and Submission and (SM) Sadism and Masochism, and is used to describe a set of erotic and/or sexual practices under consensus that usually involve erotic power exchange and the application or reception of intense and/or painful sensations. This variety of activities is a subculture that ranges from sadomasochism, dominance and submission, kindage and discipline, to slavery and servitude, fetish, leather, latex, role-playing and other aspects covered by the “kink” classification (which is used to designate all non-conventional or alternative sexual practices).

BDSM’s inclinations, preferences or roles vary from person to person and are entirely individual and subjective and the sexual spectrum of individuals that practice it includes heterosexuals, homosexuals, bisexuals, as well as transgender and cisgender people.

The disciplines included in the BDSM

– Bondage (B): It represents all that physical constraint made using elements such as understandings, wives or others to immobilize fully or parts of an individual’s body.

– Discipline (D): They are psychological constraints, where rules are imposed and punishments are inflicted, thereby controlling the behavior of another individual.

Domination and Submission (DS): practice where a hierarchy of power is established where the dominant part controls the situation by issuing orders and/or producing stimul and the submissive part which abides by the orders and receives the stimuli.

Sadomasochism (SM) is characterized by a consensual exchange between two upper and lower parts where the former infests pain and the latter receives it.

How and where did BDSM start?

Sadomasochism (S/M) has been present throughout the history of humanity, although it was not until the late 18th century that it was acquired by the works of two authors: Donatien Alphonse François de Sade and Leopold von Sacher-Masoch. Who coined the term “sadomasochism” from the names of Sade and Sacher-Masoch was the German psychiatrist Richard von Krafft-Ebing in his work “Psychopathia Sexualis” (the first book to classify sexual perversions written in 1886). Although it was not until the mid-20th century that the BDSM began to become known and practiced as such, beginning in the United States in the 1930s and coming decades later to Spain where it flourished in the 1980s.

Practice, places, encounters…

The organization of a meeting between people who practice BDSM, whether in a club BDSM or elsewhere, is called “scenario” and “sanctuary”. In order to organise the scenario and establish rules as to how far it can be achieved (the limits) and what activities are to be carried out or can be carried out, the ‘book’ is written, where they are left in writing. In the same way, a word of security is agreed in case any of these limits is exceeded or in case something goes wrong at some point. For practitioners, the BDSM is an exciting and stimulating experience much better than the “vanilla sex” (so called conventional sex). The establishment of roles and a deep sense of communication with the other person are basic components that influence excitation, so lasting encounters are generally better than chance relationships.

Are BDSM practices paraphilias?

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V) defines paraphilias as “sexual impulses, fantasies or recurrent and intense behaviors involving non-human objects, suffering or humiliation of oneself or partner, or involving children or other people who do not consent”. In other words, one of the differences between preference and paraphilia is consent and another is whether it generates anxiety and distress to the individual who suffers it. If the person is unable to feel sexual excitement without carrying out a certain sexual activity or without using a certain object, one could talk about paraphilia, but if this preference does not harm the person or others and is not dysfunctional to the individual, we could also talk about preference.

Not all people are aware of alternative sexual practices and many believe that these are paraphilias or that people who practice them have a mental problem, so we need to be able to differentiate between sexual preferences and paraphilias. If you practice BDSM and ever feel you have a psychological/sexological problem related to their practice don’t hesitate to contact us, we know about these alternative sexual practices and we could help you. However, if you have doubts about BDSM’s practices or you would like to know more about them, we’ll also be delighted to receive you in our center.

Sarah Martínez López

Psychologist Col. N° B-03249