When we start a relationship, we often believe that love is enough to sustain it. But in reality, relationships go through different stages, each with its joys, challenges, and risks. Understanding them helps us make sense of what we’re experiencing and take better care of the bond.
What are the stages of a relationship?
There’s no single path: every couple is unique and may go through these phases at different speeds. Even so, there are common moments most relationships tend to experience.
1. Falling in love
This is the most intense and well-known phase. Everything feels new and exciting, our partner seems perfect, and we want to spend every moment together. The brain releases chemicals that make us feel euphoric and passionate. However, this intensity can be misleading: we tend to idealize and overlook flaws. The risk here is believing that this feeling will last forever and feeling disappointed when it fades. The best way to approach it is to enjoy it while it lasts, knowing it’s temporary and that new challenges will come.
2. Discovering the other person
Over time, the idealized image fades and real differences appear. Our partner comes down from the pedestal, and we begin to face their quirks and imperfections. This can lead to arguments and power struggles as we try to mold the other into our expectations. The risk is that the relationship breaks down because one partner feels disillusioned. Overcoming this stage means learning to tolerate differences, communicating honestly, and asking ourselves if we truly want to keep building together despite imperfections.
3. Living together
If the relationship survives the discovery phase, it enters a more stable period. We accept that our partner won’t change and learn to negotiate routines that make life easier. It’s a stage of maturity, but risks remain: routine can dull passion, and expecting our partner to fulfill all our needs often leads to frustration or even the temptation to look elsewhere. The key is to understand that no one can provide everything and that we need to nurture the connection, pay attention to details, and keep curiosity alive.
4. Self-affirmation
As years go by, the relationship is less about dependence and more about a conscious choice. We know each other well, but there may arise a desire to reclaim personal projects or independence. The risk is that this individual quest leads to distance, silence, or resentment if it’s not expressed openly. The key is balance: allowing each person to grow individually without losing sight of the shared bond. When both partners can thrive without giving up their identity, the relationship becomes stronger.
5. Collaboration
At this point, the couple reaches a mature stage where both feel fulfilled as individuals and motivated by common goals. Love is experienced with serenity and commitment, without losing spark or complicity. The challenge is to avoid complacency and keep investing time and energy, because no stage is final. The secret is nurturing the shared project while respecting personal space.
In conclusion
The path of a relationship is never linear: setbacks, crises, and reconciliations are part of the journey. But each stage, with its risks and opportunities, offers tools for growth, and there are cases where it is necessary to have external help to solve problems in the relationship. When two people understand this and choose to walk together, challenges are no longer insurmountable obstacles but chances to make the bond stronger and more authentic.
Guillem Nicolau Coll General Health Psychologist Nº col.: B-02773
