The penis is, without a doubt, one of the topics that the world’s population thinks about the most. Half of the world has one and the truth is that little is taught to us about an organ that causes many headaches.
As sexologists, we often find in consultation doubts about everything that surrounds the penis and its functions.
There is a lot of misinformation, myths and false beliefs (largely fed by the patriarchy and the false belief that it is “your duty” to have your sexual partner satisfied) running wild without being disproved.
Therefore, and in order to be able to solve the most frequent doubts in a simple and practical way, I leave them answered here.
10 frequently asked questions and myths about the penis
I EJACULATE TOO FAST, HOW CAN I AVOID IT?
Let’s start with a simple question, what do we call fast, and better yet, in what context? It is not the same to ejaculate after 5 minutes of penetration when there has been a previous intense stimulation, there is a high level of arousal and you have not had sex for some time; than to do it all the time, regardless of the context.
Premature ejaculation (PE) by definition describes a person who ejaculates earlier than desired, with or without penetration, producing distress.
PE can have organic or psychological causes. Generally, it is caused by poor masturbation habits in which the person learns to masturbate in order to reach orgasm as soon as possible. Short sexual experience is another factor that influences the difficulty of ejaculatory control, as well as the pressure exerted by the partner or by oneself.
Premature ejaculation can be combated by receiving sexual education and “training” to learn to have greater ejaculatory control, first alone and, if you have, then as a couple.
IS MY PENIS TOO SMALL? HOW BIG IS AN ERECT PENIS?
The average (erect) Spanish size is 13.85cm and a girth of about 11.66cm in circumference.
In the adult, we speak of micropenis when the size is less than 7cm in erection.
Remember that an average is established from the sum of a set, so even below that measure, it does not mean that your penis is small.
And if touch on what usually generates more concern, this is not determinant to have pleasurable relations or to be able to give pleasure to your sexual partner. We see it developed in the following point.
DOES THE SIZE OF THE PENIS INFLUENCE THE PLEASURE GIVEN?
Again, that will depend on how we are using it. So, is it crucial to have a big penis to give pleasure? The answer is NO.
There will be people who by sensitivity and according to the size of the cavity (vagina, anus or mouth) will prefer one size to another.
The saying “the important thing is to know how to use it” is only half true. It is useless to have a reasonable penis size if you do not care about your partner’s enjoyment.
The erogenous zones are distributed throughout the body and not necessarily the best stimulation will be achieved through vaginal or anal penetration.
The pleasure it produces will depend on the willingness to give pleasure, how well we know our sexual partner and how skilled we are at finding solutions.
If your partner is not satisfied with the size of your penis you can do a thousand things in which the size of your member does not influence, you can also make use of sex toys. The truth is that today we have many facilities that allow us to have a full sex life, it’s just a matter of looking beyond the established ABC and put a little imagination. We should not close ourselves to anything, the capacity of enjoyment of our body is infinite.
UP TO WHAT AGE DOES THE PENIS GROW?
The penis grows throughout childhood and until puberty, in a longitudinal way. From the age of 12 to approximately 17, and thanks to the hormonal production that occurs in those years, is when the penis has a greater growth, not only in length, but in thickness. After 17, the penis continues to grow until the age of 20 or 21, although less noticeably.
WHAT DOES PENIS SIZE DEPEND ON?
Penis size depends on one thing, the same thing that dictates your height, skin color or eye color: genetics.
It is the sex chromosomes that determine not only your sex but also your sexual characteristics.
However, there are also other factors that contribute to penis size: nutrition or testosterone. Some young men with micropenis receive testosterone treatment in their adolescence to promote penis growth.
IS IT NORMAL TO LOSE OR NOT HAVE AN ERECTION?
Erection depends on many factors. Organic and psychological. It is normal to lose erection sometimes, since we are not machines.
Erection is very fragile. Keep in mind that fatigue, substances, mental or emotional state, pressure, age, etc. can interfere with it.
On the other hand, we must keep in mind the power of our thoughts, when there is an excessive concern for performance, for the satisfaction of the partner or for another unrelated issue, a process called “alarm system” is activated, which causes, among other things, the withdrawal of blood from non-essential areas to redirect it to others, in order to put our body in responsive mode. This causes the erection to be lost or not possible.
The most important thing is to normalize it and not worry about it. It is not necessary to have an erection to have satisfying sex. The lesser the concern the sooner the alarm system will be “deactivated”.
If the problem persists it is always advisable to visit a urologist to rule out organic causes and a sexologist to analyze the psychological variables.
BETTER THICK OR LONG?
It depends on what you want to use it for. If you are referring to what is better for our partner to enjoy, I am sorry to tell you that there is no concrete answer.
I’m sorry to repeat myself, but as we have already seen the size of the penis does not dictate the pleasure it provides. We know that there are many types of penis, many types of vagina and anus, and an infinite number of personal preferences. Some people will tell you that thicker is better and some will tell you that longer is better.
WHY CAN’T I GET AN ERECTION?
It depends on the context: does it happen all the time? alone? in company? do you have morning erections?
Again, the fragility of erection and all the factors that can interfere with it have already been discussed. It is completely normal that, under certain circumstances, a full erection cannot be produced. However, if this problem occurs continuously, it is best to see both a urologist and a sexologist in order to determine the source of the problem.
BETTER WITH OR WITHOUT FORESKIN?
The foreskin is the skin that covers the tip of the penis (glans). Its function is to cover and protect the most sensitive part of the penis. During an erection, this skin retracts, leaving the glans exposed.
Many men proceed to its extirpation (circumcision) either for cultural, religious reasons or for medical reasons, since sometimes this skin does not go down as far as it should or there is excess of it. Apart from the above, there is no reason why it is necessary or convenient to remove the foreskin. There are arguments in favor of its removal in reference to hygiene, although with good habits, this should not be a problem.
As far as your sexual partner is concerned, it makes no difference whether you have a foreskin or not. As far as pleasure for oneself is concerned, it does not affect sensitivity either.
IS IT NORMAL TO HAVE A CURVED PENIS, WHAT ARE THE CAUSES?
Our body is not always symmetrical. Having a curved penis is completely normal as long as it does not hurt or cause discomfort.
The penis has in its interior a structure known as corpora cavernosa that work in a similar way to a sponge and are in charge of expanding and making the penis “rigid”. A curved penis is produced by a non-uniform expansion of the corpora cavernosa.
MYTHS ABOUT THE PENIS
As we have seen, in reality, there is little to worry about, as there are many types of penis. In addition, society has created a false importance regarding penis size and potency. If we think about it, socially this is linked to many things, most of them absurd. Having a big penis is synonymous with: triumph, flirting, being brave, being dominant, having a greater capacity to satisfy, etc.
But there are not only myths about penis size. So here we will take the opportunity to debunk the most widespread ones:
An erection is necessary to reach orgasm.
FALSE. Orgasm consists of the contraction of the pelvic muscles after prolonged exposure to a high level of sexual arousal, releasing accumulated sexual tension (neurological response). Ejaculation is the expulsion of semen as a result of rhythmic contractions.
Both processes do not always occur simultaneously, there can be orgasm without ejaculation and ejaculation without orgasm.
Erection is a vascular process in which blood enters the penis as a result of the nervous signal produced by sexual arousal.
The three processes converge in the penis, but they can occur separately, although this is not usual.
The penis is always the same length
FALSE: We have seen that it can grow up to 21 years of age and its size varies depending on whether it is relaxed or erect. In addition, factors such as temperature influence how contracted or dilated certain areas of our body are, such as the fingers or ankles.
The size of the penis is related to the size of the hands, nose or feet.
FALSE: There is no correlation between penis size and other body parts. In the same way that having big eyes is not an indicator of having bigger biceps.
What happens is that, as a general rule, our body tends to proportion. Generally, large people tend to have proportionally large body parts. But as already mentioned, it is not decisive. You can be short and have an above average penis.
It is more hygienic to have a shaved penis.
FALSE. Pubic hair has a protective function. As long as the person maintains good hygiene habits, hair should not be a problem.
In fact, it is advisable to trim the hair rather than remove it, as sometimes wounds can occur in the process and these can become infected.
Thickness influences pleasure
FALSE: We have already seen that the size of the penis is not the cause of pleasure.
The size depends on the race
TRUE and FALSE. Penis size depends on genetics. However, it is observed that the average girth and length varies according to nationality. This has a very simple explanation: If in a country the majority have brown eyes and dark hair, the offspring of its inhabitants will have mostly dark hair and brown eyes; however, this does not prevent that there may be a blond population with blue eyes. Therefore, race is not a direct determinant of penis size, although there is a correlation.