{"id":6365,"date":"2025-11-10T10:55:45","date_gmt":"2025-11-10T10:55:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.psicologiasexologiamallorca.com\/?p=6365"},"modified":"2025-11-10T11:29:03","modified_gmt":"2025-11-10T11:29:03","slug":"how-to-heal-our-traumas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.psicologiasexologiamallorca.com\/en\/how-to-heal-our-traumas\/","title":{"rendered":"How to heal our traumas?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<div class=\"wp-block-rank-math-toc-block\" id=\"rank-math-toc\"><p><strong>Table of Contents<\/strong><\/p><nav><ol><li class=\"\"><a href=\"#trauma-is-not-only-a-great-catastrophe\">Trauma is not only a great catastrophe.<\/a><\/li><li class=\"\"><a href=\"#what-happens-when-we-dont-process-it-properly\">What happens when we don\u2019t process it properly?<\/a><\/li><li class=\"\"><a href=\"#trauma-is-not-overcome-with-willpower\">Trauma is not overcome with willpower<\/a><ol><li class=\"\"><a href=\"#emdr-reconnecting-with-the-past-to-live-in-the-present\">EMDR: Reconnecting with the past to live in the present<\/a><\/li><li class=\"\"><a href=\"#how-does-it-work\">How does it work?<\/a><\/li><li class=\"\"><a href=\"#a-real-case-with-a-fictitious-name\">A real case (with a fictitious name)<\/a><\/li><li class=\"\"><a href=\"#what-if-the-trauma-isnt-that-severe\">What if the trauma isn\u2019t \u201cthat severe\u201d?<\/a><\/li><li class=\"\"><a href=\"#the-value-of-a-therapy-that-accompanies-with-respect\">The value of a therapy that accompanies with respect<\/a><\/li><li class=\"\"><a href=\"#to-conclude-when-its-not-about-forgetting-but-integrating\">To conclude: when it\u2019s not about forgetting, but integrating<\/a><\/li><\/ol><\/li><\/ol><\/nav><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>&#8220;I got over it.&#8221;<\/strong> This phrase, so often spoken or heard, can sometimes hide a deeper truth: what hasn\u2019t truly been processed is often just placed in an emotional drawer. And as we know, drawers left closed for too long tend to overflow. That\u2019s how many unhealed traumas operate \u2014 they stay quiet, but continue to shape the way we feel, behave, and connect with the world around us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"trauma-is-not-only-a-great-catastrophe\"><strong>Trauma is not only a great catastrophe.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>When we talk about trauma, many people think of extreme events: accidents, abuse, natural disasters\u2026 These are considered big traumas (or \u201cBig T\u201d traumas).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But trauma isn\u2019t always something extraordinary. Sometimes, it can be subtle, repetitive, or even \u201cinvisible\u201d to the person experiencing it: an emotionally distant childhood, a humiliating moment at school, a sudden breakup with no explanation, or growing up feeling like you were never good enough. These are known as small traumas (or \u201clittle t\u201d traumas), and they can have a profound impact\u2014especially when they happen over and over again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>What matters most is not so much what happened, but how the person experienced it, and whether their nervous system was able to process it in a healthy way or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"what-happens-when-we-dont-process-it-properly\">What happens when we don\u2019t process it properly?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>The brain has a natural ability to process and integrate experiences. But when something overwhelms us\u2014due to its intensity, duration, or a lack of resources to cope with it\u2014that experience can become \u201cstuck.\u201d It\u2019s as if a part of us gets frozen in that moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And this can show up years later in the form of:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Disproportionate reactions to seemingly harmless situations<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Persistent anxiety or panic attacks<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Difficulty trusting others or maintaining relationships<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>A sense of emptiness or emotional disconnection<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Guilt, shame, or low self-esteem<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Among others\u2026<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>A common example is someone who, as a child, was constantly criticized by their parents. Now, as an adult, they may react with intense fear to any feedback at work or feel easily rejected in a relationship. Even if they rationally know \u201cit\u2019s not a big deal,\u201d emotionally they may fall apart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This is not weakness. It\u2019s the traumatic echo of the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"trauma-is-not-overcome-with-willpower\">Trauma is not overcome with willpower<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>One of the most common mistakes is thinking that time heals everything, or that all you need to do is \u201clook ahead.\u201d But when an experience hasn\u2019t been properly processed, time doesn\u2019t dissolve it\u2014it only silences it. The problem is that many people live with symptoms stemming from that trauma without even realizing it. They seek quick fixes but don\u2019t understand where their distress is coming from.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This is where a powerful therapeutic tool comes into play: EMDR therapy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"emdr-reconnecting-with-the-past-to-live-in-the-present\">EMDR: Reconnecting with the past to live in the present<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><br>EMDR (which stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a scientifically supported therapy, especially effective for working through trauma. It was developed by psychologist Francine Shapiro in the 1980s and since then has become one of the most effective tools for treating disorders related to post-traumatic stress, as well as anxiety, phobias, complicated grief, and emotional blockages.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"how-does-it-work\">How does it work?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>The process begins with a careful exploration of the problem and the related life experiences. Once the therapist and the person have identified a traumatic memory or a significant scene, they work using bilateral stimulation (usually guided eye movements, alternating sounds, or gentle taps on the hands or knees), following an evidence-based protocol.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This stimulation helps the brain to \u201creprocess\u201d the trapped information. In other words, it facilitates the integration of that experience\u2014which until now caused distress or reactivity\u2014in a more adaptive way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s not about forgetting, but transforming: the memory remains, but it no longer hurts. The emotional charge is reduced, and the person can heal more naturally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"a-real-case-with-a-fictitious-name\">A real case (with a fictitious name)<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Clara, 35 years old, came to therapy because she felt she couldn\u2019t trust any partner. She always ended up sabotaging relationships when they started to become deeper. During EMDR therapy, a seemingly \u201ctrivial\u201d memory emerged: when she was 9 years old, her mother left for three days without warning or explanation. Although her mother returned, fear and distrust quietly settled in Clara.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>After several EMDR sessions, that memory stopped causing her anxiety, and she was able to understand what had happened and how she had experienced it. This allowed her to open up emotionally in her current relationships without that constant filter of fear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Important note:<\/strong> This case is presented as an example, but often a symptom is not directly related to a single memory, and the work required is more complex.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image aligncenter size-full\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"516\" height=\"516\" src=\"https:\/\/www.psicologiasexologiamallorca.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/distrust-in-relationships.jpg\" alt=\"Distrust in Relationships\" class=\"wp-image-6369\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.psicologiasexologiamallorca.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/distrust-in-relationships.jpg 516w, https:\/\/www.psicologiasexologiamallorca.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/distrust-in-relationships-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.psicologiasexologiamallorca.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/distrust-in-relationships-150x150.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 516px) 100vw, 516px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"what-if-the-trauma-isnt-that-severe\"><strong>What if the trauma isn\u2019t \u201cthat severe\u201d?<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>One of the wonders of EMDR is that the memory doesn\u2019t have to be \u201ctraumatic\u201d in capital letters. Often, we work with everyday scenes that were deeply significant to the person: a look of contempt, a harsh word, a moment of loneliness left unshared. Anything the brain couldn\u2019t properly process\u2014big or small\u2014can be addressed with EMDR.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"the-value-of-a-therapy-that-accompanies-with-respect\">The value of a therapy that accompanies with respect<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>One of the most appreciated aspects of EMDR by those who undergo it is the feeling of control and respect throughout the process. It\u2019s not necessary to explain painful scenes in full detail. The therapist guides, but it\u2019s the person\u2019s brain that does the work naturally, as if it could finally bring order to the chaos.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And no, it\u2019s not magic. It\u2019s neurobiology serving emotional well-being.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"to-conclude-when-its-not-about-forgetting-but-integrating\">To conclude: when it\u2019s not about forgetting, but integrating<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>We all carry wounds. Some are visible, others more hidden. But that doesn\u2019t make us weak\u2014it makes us human. What we can choose is what to do with them. Ignore them? Pretend they don\u2019t exist? Or face them head-on, with professional support, and give them a new place within ourselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.psicologiasexologiamallorca.com\/en\/emdr-therapy\/\">EMDR therapy<\/a> invites us to do just that: to stop running from the past so we can finally live in the present. Because when trauma is processed, the pain doesn\u2019t disappear like magic, but it stops controlling our lives from the shadows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>At the Instituto Psicolog\u00eda-Sexolog\u00eda Mallorca, we have professionals who can support you if you wish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong><em>Paola Obrador<br>Registered Psychologist \u00a0B-1815<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;I got over it.&#8221; This phrase, so often spoken or heard, can sometimes hide a deeper truth: what hasn\u2019t truly [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6368,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[30],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6365","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-general-psychology"],"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/www.psicologiasexologiamallorca.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/how-to-heal-our-traumas.jpg",1200,1116,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/www.psicologiasexologiamallorca.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/how-to-heal-our-traumas-150x150.jpg",150,150,true],"medium":["https:\/\/www.psicologiasexologiamallorca.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/how-to-heal-our-traumas-300x279.jpg",300,279,true],"medium_large":["https:\/\/www.psicologiasexologiamallorca.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/how-to-heal-our-traumas-768x714.jpg",768,714,true],"large":["https:\/\/www.psicologiasexologiamallorca.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/how-to-heal-our-traumas-1024x952.jpg",1024,952,true],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/www.psicologiasexologiamallorca.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/how-to-heal-our-traumas.jpg",1200,1116,false],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/www.psicologiasexologiamallorca.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/how-to-heal-our-traumas.jpg",1200,1116,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"Instituto Psicolog\u00eda Sexolog\u00eda","author_link":"https:\/\/www.psicologiasexologiamallorca.com\/en\/author\/admin\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"&#8220;I got over it.&#8221; This phrase, so often spoken or heard, can sometimes hide a deeper truth: what hasn\u2019t truly [&hellip;]","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.psicologiasexologiamallorca.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6365","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.psicologiasexologiamallorca.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.psicologiasexologiamallorca.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.psicologiasexologiamallorca.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.psicologiasexologiamallorca.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6365"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.psicologiasexologiamallorca.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6365\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6370,"href":"https:\/\/www.psicologiasexologiamallorca.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6365\/revisions\/6370"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.psicologiasexologiamallorca.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6368"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.psicologiasexologiamallorca.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6365"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.psicologiasexologiamallorca.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6365"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.psicologiasexologiamallorca.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6365"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}