{"id":3509,"date":"2023-06-06T16:38:51","date_gmt":"2023-06-06T16:38:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/psicomallorca0877.live-website.com\/perinatal-grief\/"},"modified":"2025-08-14T11:48:34","modified_gmt":"2025-08-14T11:48:34","slug":"perinatal-grief","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.psicologiasexologiamallorca.com\/en\/perinatal-grief\/","title":{"rendered":"The invisibility of perinatal grief"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

The loss of a pregnancy and\/or a wanted baby turns out to be undoubtedly a devastating experience<\/strong>, regardless of the gestational age. This term refers to the loss that occurs in any month of gestation up to the first month of the baby’s life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Perinatal grief<\/strong> is therefore the grief that accompanies the loss of a child, during gestation, during labour or\u00a0 even after birth. It is often distinguished from gestational grief as this one is associated with the loss of the baby due to the termination of the pregnancy. However, in many cases both terms are used interchangeably.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Undeniably, perinatal loss is a traumatic experience, which is considered unnatural and it causes great suffering<\/strong> both for parents and their immediate environment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, in our society<\/strong>, just as there are terms and ways of identifying those who lose their parents or partners as “orphans” or “widowers” respectively, there are no words to refer<\/strong> to fathers or mothers who suffer the loss of their child. This strengthens the invisibility of perinatal bereavement which, for many years, has not been recognized as such. In fact, parents are often confronted by health professionals or their own environment with statements such as “you have to be strong; you can have more children for sure”. Moreover, they are under great pressure to get over<\/strong> it and look for a new pregnancy as soon as possible, with advice such as “what you have to do is not to think about it and have another child as soon as possible” or “life goes on”.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In fact, there seems to be a social distinction depending on when the loss occurs<\/strong>. If the loss occurs after the baby is born, there is more social acceptance, as if only in this case it is recognized as a full-fledged bereavement. However, when the loss occurs during pregnancy or childbirth, there is no such social recognition; it even seems that the parents should get over it more quickly, as they are not given the legitimacy to grieve.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Moreover, as an example of the other side of the coin, sometimes those close to them avoid talking about it or  make efforts trying to act “normally” in order not to cause greater suffering. This often has the opposite effect on the parents, as not only they do feel discomfort, but it also masks their grief and they are even forced to live their loss in silence. Their feelings of sadness, insecurity and hopelessness are then intensified as they find themselves misunderstood, judged and with no space to share their pain<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Grief is a normal necessary process of coping with grief and all the feelings that arise after the loss of our loved ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, in this scenario, invisibility and lack of social recognition make it difficult for this grieving process to take place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must bear in mind that the failure to mourn their children can become the trigger for emotional disorders<\/strong> such as depression or anxiety and even post-traumatic stress disorder.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Perinatal grief symptoms<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

At first, parents often experience fear, sense of unreality and hopelessness<\/strong>, together with the belief that they will never get over it. In addition, they usually try to find an explanation<\/strong> for what happened, although in most cases there are no clear answers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Guilt <\/strong>also comes from the false perception that they could have done something to prevent this happening. They also tend to show difficulty to manage their daily life, insomnia, loss of appetite or irritability<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Overall, it can be said that the loss of a child affects how we think, feel and act. In addition to the emotions and beliefs mentioned above, parents often experience the following symptoms:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Physical symptoms<\/strong><\/td>Emotional symptoms<\/strong><\/td>Cognitive symptoms<\/strong><\/td>Behavioural symptoms<\/strong><\/td><\/tr>
\u2022Breathing difficulties+ feeling of emptiness
\u2022Uncontrollable crying
\u2022Nightmares<\/td>		\u2022Loss of interest
\u2022Difficulties in experiencing pleasure (anhedonia)
\u2022Sadness and loneliness
\u2022Frustration and anger
\u2022Feeling of misunderstanding \/ abandonment<\/td>		\u2022Denial
\u2022Difficulties in concentrating and disorientation
\u2022Memory loss
\u2022Intrusive negative thoughts
\u2022Disorganized thinking<\/td>		\u2022Detachment
\u2022Avoidance behaviours
\u2022 Isolation
\u2022Hyperactivity<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Within the couple, the deep sense of powerlessness is shared, that appears together with guilt, frustration and even fear of not being able to have more children in the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In this scenario, the pregnant mother<\/strong> tends to feel guilty and responsible for the loss<\/strong>, while her partner <\/strong>experiences this reality with great impotence and frustration<\/strong>, although most of the times his\/her loss is placed in second position and it is not given the importance it deserves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Perinatal grief stages<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

In relation to the symptoms <\/strong>of perinatal grief, the following stages along the process can be distinguished:<\/p>\n\n\n\n